The art of lingering: Why stillness is the secret to a Soul Aligned Home
Do you ever feel an "itchy" restlessness the moment a room goes quiet? Or notice your hand reaching for your phone before you’ve even finished your first sip of morning coffee?
In our modern world, we are experts at rushing. We move from one task to the next, stimulated by screens and driven by to-do lists. But there is a quiet, transformative practice we’ve almost entirely forgotten: the art of lingering.
As I’ve practiced this over the last few years, I’ve realized that the magic we are all searching for doesn’t live in the rushing. It lives in the stillness.
“The longer you linger, the deeper the magic.”
I recently heard this beautiful line on Florence Given’s podcast, and it has stayed with me ever since. She was describing the moment in meditation when you want to give up, open your eyes, and get on with your day but instead, you take a deep breath and stay.
By staying past that initial discomfort, you drop into a "fuzzy, delicious" state of presence.
As humans, when things get uncomfortable, we tend to retreat to what is safe, known, and cosy. But lingering is the choice to stay past that point of wanting to bail. It’s choosing:
Presence over doing.
Depth over speed.
Experience over escape.
The Somatic science of staying.
From a somatic point of view, lingering is a powerhouse for nervous system regulation. When you feel sadness, stillness, or even just boredom, your nervous system can go into an escape mode. Your pulse quickens, and a voice in your head tells you to run back to the safety of distraction.
But when you practice lingering, even for just 10 extra seconds, you start building a muscle. You realise that you don’t break. The fear shifts, your breath deepens, and you calm down.
Confidence isn’t “I never feel uncomfortable.” It’s “I can stay with myself when I do.”
Our homes often become places where we just exist, spots to store our possessions while we rush through the motions: walk in, drop bags, scroll, eat, watch TV, sleep. We look at our walls and think, "I need to fix that" or "I'll feel better when this room looks different."
But what if you lingered with your home exactly as it is right now?
Your home is always speaking to you, but you have to stay long enough to listen. Try sitting on your sofa with no distractions and asking:
How do I feel in my body right now?
What memories are held in this room?
What do I actually love about this space?
When you listen on a conscious level, you begin to understand how your environment is impacting your nervous system daily.
Find the holiday feeling in the everyday.
Think about why holidays feel so good. You don’t rush a sunset. You walk along the beach without a finish line. You linger over your dinner.
But at home, we often rush the after-meal magic. We grab the plates and dash to the next thing. We miss the fullness, the conversation, and the emotional digestion that happens when we simply stay at the table.
Every person who has changed their life has had to linger in the awkward middle bit. Writers linger with blank pages; healers linger with discomfort. They don't avoid the I don't know yet phase, they sit in it. That is where growth lives.
This week, I invite you to practice the art of lingering in three small ways:
In your home: Sit somewhere for two extra minutes. No phone, no TV. Just notice the room without judging it or planning a renovation.
In your body: When you feel restless or fearful, take one deep breath and stay with the feeling for 10 seconds longer than usual. Let it pass through you.
In your life: When you get that "itchy" feeling to reach for your phone while waiting for your coffee, don’t. Look at the flowers, notice the light, and stay present.
The longer you linger, the deeper the magic. It’s not big fireworks magic, it’s the magic of calm, clarity, and finally feeling at home in your own life.
If you want to learn how to create a home that supports your nervous system, explore how Soul Aligned Home can work for you.
