Confidence begins at home

This blog was inspired by something I’ve been sitting with for a while now.

It still feels a little uncomfortable to talk about and honestly, that’s exactly why I want to talk about it.

Over the last six months, I’ve had quite a few people tell me that I inspire them. And every single time it happens, my first reaction is still a bit of disbelief.

Me? Inspiring?

I remember the very first time someone said it, I actually laughed. Not because I was being dismissive, but because it genuinely didn’t make sense to me.

I’m not any different from you. And I already know that at least one of you reading this is thinking, “Well, you’re more confident than I am.” and I want to stop you right there because I’m not.

If you’d known me eight years ago, you’d understand why.

I was never a confident child.

Eight years ago, I got engaged to someone because I didn’t know how to say no.

Not because I wanted to get married.
Not because it felt right.

But because I was terrified of what saying no would mean. If I didn’t want that, then what did I want? I had no idea. And I definitely didn’t have the confidence to voice any of it.

Confidence is a strange thing. Because the more “confident” I’ve become, the more I’ve realised it didn’t come from forcing myself to be braver or louder or more outgoing.

It came from one thing, and one thing only:

Being more me.

Especially over the last year, almost every decision I’ve made has come from the same place:

I’m doing this for me.

And sometimes - a lot of the time - that hasn’t made logical sense. I’ve questioned myself. I’ve had internal battles where I’ve thought, “But that’s not what people do. Am I being reckless?”

But then I remind myself, I don’t want to live an ordinary life.

And if being audacious in the pursuit of my own happiness is what that requires, then that’s what I’m choosing.

My childhood home didn’t support audaciousness

You might be wondering what any of this has to do with Feng Shui or your home.

And the answer is everything.

Because your home is the first place where you need to feel safe enough to be yourself.

Growing up, I didn’t feel safe to be me.

And no, I didn’t grow up in an abusive household. But what I’ve come to understand is that even at home, I felt the need to hide. To dim myself. To fit in. My nervous system never felt safe enough to fully express itself.

When I became a Feng Shui practitioner, I analysed my childhood home and honestly, what came up didn’t surprise me at all.

The dominant element of that house was Metal. Metal energy can feel quite cold, and it’s common for people living in strong Metal homes to feel emotionally unsupported.

Now, a Metal home isn’t a bad thing and please don’t panic if you live in one. Every element can be balanced and supported with the right Feng Shui remedies.

But my childhood home didn’t have those remedies.

On top of that, my bedroom was above a garage, which energetically adds another layer of not feeling supported.

I learned very early on that the safest way to feel loved was to be quiet, agreeable, and easy.

But when your nervous system feels safe?

Everything started to shift when I moved in with my partner.

Our home is a Wood element home, naturally more supportive, expansive, and growth-oriented. And slowly, something unexpected happened.

I started rebelling against the version of myself I’d created as a child.

My nervous system realised it didn’t need the armour anymore.

Bit by bit, I started shedding it. Growing into myself.

Ross actually said to me recently, “You’ve really grown into who you are.” And he’s right.

Today, I live my life doing exactly what I want to do.

And when I reflect on it, I think this is why people see me as inspiring now - not because I’m successful, but because I go after what matters to me. Even when it doesn’t make sense on paper. Even when it goes against logic or expectation.

A question for you…

Do you feel safe to fully express yourself at home?

Because this is where it starts.

Your home should be the place where you can let your guard down. Where you can get clear on what you want, not what you’ve been told you should want.

And if you don’t feel that safety yet, ask yourself:

• What needs to change first?

• Is it energetic?

• Is it physical?

• Is it emotional?

I’ll leave you with this because it might be the most powerful thing you ever create:

Maybe it’s not success that changes everything.

Maybe it’s a home where you finally feel safe enough to be fully you.